Becoming a “Miss” when I still feel like a Teen

I’m going through this awkward phase in the pageant world where I’m going from being a Teen to a Miss. Which is absurd because I am 24, and I’ve been competing in Miss pageants every year since I was 19!

I remember being appointed a teen title years ago, and a contestant’s mother being concerned that her daughter didn’t want to compete with girls my age. And when the director asked me I realized I was 20 then. I was 20 and a complete idiot to forget I was two years older than the oldest age in the teen group. It was so embarrassing.

I started competing in pageants seriously when I was 13, and competed in several pageants a year until I was 16, when I tried focusing only on 1-2 each year. My muscle memory says to smile like crazy and have a bouncy walk.

But now when I compete in Miss pageants, it is so hard for me to not smile, otherwise I look like I’m so mad at you! And the transition from smiling to fierce is not smooth at all.

It’s hard for me to walk sexy and worst of all, the facial expressions. And outside of pageants, I don’t feel like a super hot bombshell “woman.” I’m still just a nerdy girl trying to figure out my life and watches Disney Channel.

Internally, I think it’s because I know there’s young girls that look up to me. I’ve made it my goal to be a role model to those girls, it’s one of my driving forces in my life overall. And I would not want to see them act older than their own age. Even when my sister puts on makeup or wears heels I don’t feel comfortable. I need to find a balance between becoming my own sort of beautiful Miss woman contestant while being the child at heart I know I am.

This post was originally from misselizabethtran.wordpress.com and transferred over to Lashes and Sashes